Loud and Queer

Remember how your parents pressured you to stay in school? You wanted to drop out and travel cross country as a BMX racer, but NOOOOOOO…..Mom and Dan insisted you get that degree in Econ. Yawn, boring!

Well, spread the word to everyone on your local gay chat line– there is a sex-plus reason for all kids to stay in school! Seems sleeping with college kids is generally safer then sleeping with non-college kids! Not only are university students more inclined to practice safe sex, they are cuter too! (Okay, we made the last part up…) New studies indicate STDS, especially HIV/AIDS among students and staff at colleges and universities is lower than the general population! Harvard, drop your shorts cause here I come!

Academic staff have the lowest overall HIV prevalence at 1.5 percent, so don’t worry about banging you Professors anymore! Next in sexy safety, students at 3.4 percent, administrative staff at 4.4 percent and service staff at 12.2 percent. All this juicy data was released at the Higher Education HIV/AIDS Conference in Johannesburg, South Africa.

More good news is that the college kids have embraced and are sticking to safe sex! (THANK GOD! AND KEEP IT UP!) Nineteen percent of male students and six percent of female students had more than one partner in the month before the research was conducted, but were committed to safe sexual practices. This certainly improves your options for local gay dating if you live in a town with a lot of universities or colleges.

Now on the negative, alcohol consumption and binge drinking carried the risk of increased levels of sexual coercion and researchers also found that casual sex and alcohol use were intertwined. But what would college be without careless sex after a frat party? Probably not college…Binge drinking was reported to be the major source of recreation on many campuses over the weekends, together with sex, especially in isolated and rural areas with poor recreational facilities, shopping malls, or movie theaters. Which explains the popularity of keg parties at Penn State University.

Condom use was high among students compared to other groups with 65 percent among males between 18 and 24, and 65 percent among those aged 25 or older. But, this is a D at best! Let’s get on the horny honor roll, lets get this up to 85 percent! We here at America’s premier gay party line only endorse safe sex, so lets see these numbers get better and better!

- Dick

So I am totally, completely, head-over-heels in love with Liam Hemsworth.

This hottie-mctottie comes to us from the “land down under” – and this Aussie is Hollywood’s new smoking hot “it boy”. Currently, he can be found at your local Cineplex kissing face with Miley Cyrus in the teen love story, The Last Song.

By-the-by, Miley Cyrus is really collecting an incredible cache of hot boys. Here last boyfriend was an underwear model. She bagged this boy as soon as the cameras stopped rolling. What a wench.

Liam is a surfer – and I’ll give you a Ben Franklin if you can find me one unattractive surfer. When you aren’t steaming up the chat line in your hometown, I sincerely suggest you spend some time surfing the net for images of Liam. There’s plenty. Sad Liam. Smiling Liam, Nearly-naked Liam. I skipped work the other day and spent the day glued to my laptop doing research. Don’t judge, we all need a hobby.

This is another favorite shot of mine from the Liam gallery. I will be honest, I love that he is playing with his belly button – or possible getting ready to adjust the package. Didn’t he know he was being photographed? Did he know and not care? Are you a dirty-boy Liam?

Now some of you might be screaming “CHICKEN HAWK!” or possibly “He’s a man! Not a boy!” To those dissenters, I say this: Fuck off. First off I think in Oz you can sleep with anyone over the age of 16. Secondly, the kid is 20. Third, you’d hit it too, Fourth, I’m ogling him – not buying him beer. I wouldn’t buy him beer. We’d never be drunk. Punch-drunk on lust, but not on Miller Lite.

Next week, I’ll pull a classic silver fox from my “daddy file” for you, till then – have sweet dreams of Liam. I will.

- Dick

Attention Gays and Gayelles, it is time to plan your first summer vacation! You can’t sit at home spending ALL your time jawing it up on the gay chat line, every once and a while you have to hit the road and see the States. If you are looking for a fun filled adventure for the entire family, we have got a suggestion for you. Homosexuals of all kinds will be flocking to Philadelphia for the first weekend of May, when the City of Brotherly Love celebrates Equality Forum. I’d load up your MiniCooper with extra Astro-glide and hit I-95 now if I were you!

Equality Forum is a week long series of all kind of go-go-go events for gay-gadflies. There is movies and seminars, panels and parties, outdoor stuff an and indoor stuff. It’s a pretty awesome weekend to come strolling through Philadelphia, as the entire city seems to be pretty much seized by homosexuality.

To add to the merriment, the same weekend of Equality Forum is also Philadelphia’s Broad Street Run. It’s a 10 mile race down Philadelphia’s main thoroughfare that draws some of the finest sprinters and runners in the country. If you’re a fitness fag, this is the kind of event for you. Or maybe you are simply the kind of boy or girl who likes to ogle cute people in sporty attire! (I’m that latter, you’ll catch me on the sidewalk with my camera and binoculars.)

May is also a perfect month weather-wise to visit Philadelphia. The City of Brotherly Love is notoriously cold & and windy during the winter and hot’n humid over the summer.

- Dick

Attention Haters,

I’d like to present Exhibit A in my new theory, that old stupid people hate the gays. Please watch this video, and you will see that the younger, hipper, cuter generation does not give a flying-freak about what people do in their bedrooms. In fact, the encouraged love in all aspects. Even boy-love!

Super-hater Fred Phelps and his mongrel group of scumbags rolled into Kansas and targeted several synagogues and high schools to protest. Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church is nationally notorious for spewing venomous hate speech at any opportunity.

Proving that no matter what our political parties debate, or our leaders waiver on – the kids of one high school banded together and PEACEFULLY counter-protested. Gunn High School stood up, sang, hugged, wore bad tie-die, and proved that tolerance and acceptance are the keys to the future. And not just the drama-fags or fruit flys, check out that crowd – I saw some letterman’s jackets in the melee!

This warms my cold little heart. Often times, we as gay men and women get bad news. No marriage for you, you can’t adopt, no healthcare, sit at the back of the bus. Yada-yada-yada. Being gay in this society can feel real second class, and many days we wake up and feel politically neutered, unloved, disrespected, and disenfranchised.

But, don’t lose hope. Here we see an ENTIRE school, in a state I would have said still shot anybody who wasn’t Republican, stand-up and demand TOLERANCE. It’s like a Berkley love-in!

Once these adorable little freedom fighters can vote, we will see a sweeping change in this country’s policy that will make your heads spin. God bless the future, cause the youth of today will be the leader’s of tomorrow. And I for one, cannot wait.

- Dick

Here is a little secret for you. I have no clue about porn. None!

Sure, I have seen it. I’ve seen all kinds of porn. Straight, gay, bisexual, lesbian, alien…You name it, I’ve probably jacked-off to it. But unlike some of my pals, I have no idea the name of studios, or the name of stars, or the name of directors or producers. I think it is all real, actually. It isn’t? How disappointing.

Now, finally, a porn star I am familiar with! Steven Daigle, the gay cowboy from the tenth season of Big Brother, is now a gay porn star. Daigle teamed up with Chi Chi La Rue and Channel 1 Releasing for Steven Daigle XXXposed, which is now evidently selling like hot cakes! Who doesn’t love a cowboy? (Kids on the gay chat in Dallas, I’m looking at you!) Plus, I’m a reality tv whore, so I remember when this stud was on…I thought he was hot’n handsome then – and now I am excited to see him minus his blue jeans.

http://www.c1r.com/products/rv1180-steven-daigle-xxxposed

In January, TMZ reported:

“Eighteen months after he was evicted from the BB house, Steven Daigle was so comfortable in front of the cameras, he decided to sign on to a man-on-man-on-man sex tape. We’re told Daigle was approached with the idea by porn director Chi Chi LaRue — who originally met Daigle at a ‘Big Brother’ wrap party. Daigle tells us, ‘I didn’t expect my life to take this path, but when I was presented with the opportunity, I dove in head first … literally.’”

Doesn’t he sound a like a farm-fresh country boy? Don’t you just want to take a big juicy bite out of him?

- Dick

(Cue Salt & Pepper music in the background)

Now I am sure you are getting plenty of lovin’. I bet you are burning up the chat lines from Phoenix to New York with a layover for love in New York.  You work those gay personals, you’ve got a steady boy-toy, your married, you are the town slut…Yes, I am sure you get it and get it GOOD.

But, every once and awhile – even for the greatest of Casanovas, the well gets a little dry.  You know what I am saying, right?  Or maybe your tired, trapped in Nome, Alaska, or simply under house arrest.  You don’t have the means to get out, get on the phone, and get some booty.

I have the exact same problem! So this year for Easter, my parents filled my basket with eggs.  Tenga eggs! TENGA eggs are singe-use disposable masturbators that are pretty neat. You pop the suckers open, drop’em on your shaft, and happy days are here again!  My problem with sex toys is that so many aren’t aesthetically pleasing, they’re just ugly as sin.  Not the Tenga!

http://www.tlavideo.com/gay-tenga/feature-13884-3-1133

I simply adore the Tenga. I’ve been going through them like a kid in a Cadbury store.  I have also been giving all my friends and foes them as housewarming gifts!  Probably suitable for baby showers too.

Now if this doesn’t appeal to your sexual instinct, wait a few months. My sources in the sex trade biz tell me that  prostate massagers are going to be the next big toy for gay men!  Start your engines!

- Dick

I’ve had a whole weekend to test play with my new iPad, I have to say I adore it.

I admit I bought it on a bit of a whim.  I had some extra money from my tax return, and I am a bit of a tech-geek.

I won’t fib, there are pros and cons. It will probably not be for everyone.

The iPad is soooo aneorixic.  So skinny! I thought it to be fragile, but it’s pretty sturdy. Which is good, ‘cause I have a serious case of dropsy. The screen on the iPad is beautiful. At the touch of a button, the screen comes on and it’s bright with vivid colors. Big gay colors!

Touted as an eBook reader, the iPad turns out to be a great device for reading. Turn the iPad in landscape mode and you’ll see two pages at the same time. In portrait mode, you’ll see one page. For the gay geeks, comic book apps like Marvel Comics and Panelfly, are stunning on the iPad. Now you can see the artwork in its true glory. If you’re used to purchasing Kindle books, there’s also a free Kindle app you can use so none of your books are lost.

If you are a gamer gay, the iPad offers new ways to interact with your hobby. No longer do they have to use just two fingers to play, game play is now opened up to an abundance of finger gestures! Board games bring back the good old days without any of the small pieces to pick up. The more unique games for the iPad are the ones that allow two players to play on the the same iPad. Some examples include checkers, chess, or even air hockey.

Logistically, it is souped up perfectly. Apple knows design, and the iPad doesn’t disappoint. The audio quality is top-notch. The speakers are located at the bottom right side of the iPad (if in portrait mode). They’re also located much farther away from where your hands want to be, so the sound is not covered up while holding it in landscape mode.
There are a few ways you can type with this device. In portrait mode, you can thumb-type. You can also cradle the iPad in one arm while using one finger to type on the screen; this will work for both landscape or portrait mode keyboards.

The iPad is like a portable tv. Pack it with all of your favorite videos, tv shows, and movies, and you’re ready to go on a long road trip! The videos are crystal clear.  Small screen is perfect for entertainment while traveling in a car or plane.  And when it comes to web surfing, the new safari app is easy and fast to use.

My 3rd grade vocabulary and simple verbal skills just don’t do the iPad justice. You really need to head down to the Apple store and try it for yourself. Once you have it in your hands, it’s hard to find reasons not to like it. Of course, there’s still is no camera (naked pics for your profile) or multitasking, but these features may be added in the next generation.

- Dick