Loud and Queer

“Are you kidding me?”

“FOR THE SWEET LOVE OF THE GODDESS!”

That is what I screamed when I read one completely insane fashion blogger who said that the Mankini — the HIDEOUS hybrid men’s bathing suit—is here to stay. Why? WHY!?

According to the brains at Wikipedia, a “Mankini is a type of sling bikini worn by men. It was popularized by Sacha Baron Cohen when he donned one in the film Borat. The buzz around the film started building during the Cannes Film Festival in May 2006, when Baron Cohen posed in character on the beach in a neon green mankini.”

The freakshow to your right is a design from Emporio Armani’s 2011 collection. Someone put a piss cup underneath the designer, cause boo be tripping.

First off, does that hat come with the ensemble? I sure hope so! It just wouldn’t work for me if it didn’t.

Second, who the fashion is going to by this mess?  I just sent a mankini pic to my younger (and straight) brother and he wrote back: “Ugly. And gay. Really ugly. Really gay.” (Which, is what he said about me as a kid…But, I digress…)

Thirdly, doesn’t this make it harder for me to get my target naked?

I could continue to rant about this till the whores come home, but I think you’ve got my point.  I don’t want to see any of this crap on my favorite beaches.  You hear me Fire Island?  I want compliance Fort Lauderdale!  South Beach, I am talking to you!

Tags: fashion, swimwear
Categories: Best of Media