Loud and Queer

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Well kids, this is going to be my last blog post.

Not forever, but maybe for a while…

After several years reporting on gay rights, gossiping about pop stars, and lusting after the likes of Kellan Lutz and Zac Efron, I am giving up the old blog and actually getting a real job. I’m going to be a go-go boy in the East Village!  Dreams do come true.

I couldn’t ask for a better audience. For those loyal readers out there (and I think there are 17 of you!), your devotion to this blog was endearing, delightful, and often sometimes more then a little bit depraved.  We had some good times didn’t we? Saw a lot of dick, too.

And my bosses – the gang here at Gay Live Network – who could ask for better people signing your paycheck. This team really let me do ANYTHING. The editorial oversight boiled down to: “Have fun and be funny.”  I did the first, I hope I did the second. I will let you all be the judge of that…

So lets NOT say goodbye…Hell, I hate goodbyes! I am a sneaky old slut and I’ve spent my years avoiding any goodbyes. Let’s keep this as a slight “see you later…”   While you might not have this blog to read everyday, you still can find plenty of gay giggles at some other blogs.  Check out Queerty and Dlisted. They will keep you in stitches.

Remember my sweets, keep being loud, proud, and keep checking in here at Gay Live Network! You never know what could happen….

It’s Zac Efron’s 25th Birthday!  Only 25? I have underwear almost that old!

In tribute to this special, special day… I’m doing a pictorial look at Zac over the years!

Very James Bond

That hair! My favorite Efron Era...

Fall Formal? Date to my sister's wedding? Night out on the town?

Hipster Zac!

Holy Bananas!

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I have to be honest, I haven’t checked the mail bag here at GayLive Network HQ since Thanksgiving. I thought the interns did it. Then I remembered, most of my interns have been on holiday vacation for the last few weeks. I wondered why my trashcan was overflowing!

So, without much further ado, I present, the latest, greatest, most amazing – installment of  TALK TO DICK!

Dear Dick,

I’m in a monogamous relationship with a great guy.  We were both very inexperienced when we first got together, but we have grown sexually and learned a lot and become very happy in the sack.

We are always looking for some new adventure.  New clean, safe, adventures.

So, I’ve never used sex toys before.  Never.  It seems like a new avenue.

I was talking with my boyfriend about it and we agreed that it would be a good idea, something fun to try. He’s never tried any toys either.

Thing is… I don’t know what to get and what types would be good. I want us to both be really pleasured, but also comfortable.

Any suggestions?

Sincerely,

Boys in Toyland

Dear Boys,

Holy Crap! Have you come to the right fellow. I have a whole wing of my mansion devoted to my toys!  Toys of all kinds, sizes, and pleasures….

But, since you are a couple of naive novices, I will start off ont he ground floor and work my way up…

• Butt plug / Dildo: I don’t need to tell you (hopefully) that the road to  multiple orgasms is right up their bum. That’s where the prostate is! To that end, check-out your friendly adult store’s selection of  butt plugs and dildos.   Check out the selection,  start small-ish (giggle) and see what you both like. Work your way up to a double=header if your both feeling kinda bottomy!
• Rings: Not just for engagements anymore! Cockrings are simply devine! Put’em around your cock and balls, and watch as you become as thick and hard as a petrified redwood.  Use it for ours of serious banging, or wear it out to get some eyes on your prize!
• Beads:  What’s the recipe for a face-melting orgasm?  First, apply a liberal amount of lube to the strand of  beads. Next, slowly insert the beads into your poop-chute. Then have sex. Let beads stay in ass until just before orgasm. Slowly pull from ass while coming. KA-POW!
• Vibator: Good, good GOOD vibrations!  Sweet God in heaven, do I love a vibrator. You can use it alone, you can use it with friends, you can use it whenever and however you want!  My favorite?  Jamming that thing up my parents ass while we suck one another off in a hot-as-hell 69.  Try it!

How does that all grab you? I hope by the balls and doesn’t let go till you are drained dry. (Sweet heavens is this the FILTHIEST post I have ever written!)

So happy shopping boys!  Please keep us updated on your adventuring!

love!

Dick

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Happy Thanksgiving!

This is always such a conflicting kind of holiday for us ga men, isn’t it?  We eat too much, we see too much family, and for the most part – football is lost on so many of us.  We spend days in therapy or at the gym to rebound from one stinkin’ Thursday.

But while you are sneaking cigarettes and trying to dodge Great-Aunt Myrtle’s questions about your relationship status, try to have a good time. It IS a holiday.  Remember, “holiday” ?  Celebrate?  (Think back to early Madonna…)

I found 6 AMAZING tips on a health blog….(Thank you, Fusion!)  Check’em out with my notes:

1. Bring your mom flowers and tell your parents you appreciate them. (My mother would rather have white wine, but you get the drift.)
2. Pick quality over quantity: load your plate with nutrient dense vegetables, not a mountain of empty mashed potatoes.
   
3. Take a break from family chaos by getting outside to walk and talk instead of getting drunk. (WHAT?)
4. Slow down your meals and enjoy every piece of food fully. (Oh, I do. I really really do…)
   
5. You don’t have to devour it all in one sitting, spread the feast over a week by taking food home.
   
6. Use gatherings to check-in with people more deeply instead of escaping to football or movies. (Or Facebook! Facebook mobile is a big no! Although Gay Live Network is super-fine.  You need a little release!)

So gay boys, try to act like a grown-ass lady today. Be thankful, be friendly, be family fun-filled!

Maybe you don’t have a job, maybe you don’t have all your family, maybe your single and alone and have no boyfriend. But maybe you have your health, or your friends, or your home.  Whatever you have in your life, be thankful for it. Be thankful that the sun still shines every morning when you crawl out of bed – be thankful you have a bed!

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It’s that time again kids, when the mailman here at GayLive Network reaches into his bag and brings out a letter from one of my many sweet stalkers!  One of you troubled individuals has a need for some solid gold advice from Dick!

Dear Dick,

I am a 27 year-old professional African-American male in a large Midwestern city.

I’ve been in a very happy, and monogamous, relationship with a fantastic guy for about 10 months.  Things are great, we are very compatible, and the “L” word has been dropped several times.

Recently, Todd (not his real name, duh), has started to spend time with his ex-boyfriend.  They have had a few lunch dates, and just this week did a happy hour. I have not been invited along.  They ended their relationship as friends, and Todd has always been honest that he has no feelings for him but does enjoy his ex’s company.

I am happy to give my mate some space, and I really trust him. I don’t think there is anything going on.  But, what is appropriate for me to ask about these “dates”?  I am starting to feel weird about it, and I’d like to talk to him – I just don’t have any idea what to say.  Can you help?

Sincerely,

Second-Place ????

Dear Second-Place,

MAN!

You are way way way more trusting then me.  I’d be freaking the crap out.  I have actually driven ex-boyfriends (mine, and other people) out of TOWN.  I am a paranoid, shifty, shady, distrustful mess.  I’d keep my man on lockdown if I could. Ankle bracelet and all.  He’s never leave my sight. Never.

But that kind of behavior is unrealistic. We can’t live our lives like that.  We have to trust the boys we love. We have to trust them to be faithful, honest, and respectful.

So while it is okay for you boyfriend to catch-up with an old “friend” – it is also okay for you to feel a little uneasy about it. What is not okay, is for you to bottle up those feelings and not discuss them. Be honest with your lover. Tell him that it makes you feel a little strange. Tell him you trust him, love him, and know he feels the same – but that this makes you feel a little weird. Suggest maybe having the ex over for drinks at your place.  Or suggest maybe a double date!  Just suggest SOMETHING – don’t let this insecurity grow into a major issue.

And if all else fails, write me back and I will give you the name of a good hitman who can get rid of the ex.  Kidding.

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Dear Zach,

Congratulations!  I am so proud of you for taking the bold move to step out of that Hollywood closet, and into the bright, shiny, sweet-smelling world of WEST Hollywood! Welcome! Don’t you feel more relaxed now? More free? Lighter?  Refreshed? God bless you my friend. God bless you!

You told Access Hollywood, “I just felt like it was my time, you know? I felt like it was a week of declarations for me. I’m declaring that I’m gay, I’m declaring that I want to be a serious contributor to the dialogues that are happening in the world right now. The way that I can do that is creatively.”

I remember when we first met. It was San Diego Comic Con 2006.  I was a young, fresh-faced, hot-to-trot little Marketing peep with the SciFi (now SyFy) Channel. You were the big star of Heroes.  Your friend/agent/fag hag was all up in my grille trying to get me to spread them for you. I declined.  Boy, am I regretting it now.
And I’m not regretting it cause your now a multi-millionaire  superstar. NO.  It has nothing to do with the fame, the money, the diamonds, the parties, the piles of pure white cocaine, the beach house, the rent boys, the furs, the Fendi, Prada, D& G, the private jet. NONE OF THAT.  ZIP.

I didn’t find you attractive then.  Too tall. Too dark.  Too NBC.  I hate NBC.  And Jesus, that show Heroes was a mess. I mean – rip off the X-Men much?   I am a HUGE Trekkie fan too – but Spock has never done it for me.  And honestly, you were next to Chris Pine. CHRIS PINE. I’d sell my teeth to give Chris Pine a tongue bath!

No, I regret it now – ’cause I’m so stunned to see a Hollywood actor, especially one with your trajectory, come out of the closet!  It gives me hope!  I have been so depressed lately. It seems like a lot of kids, a lot of sweet, innocent, beautiful kids, end up in the news everyday dead.  DEAD.  Not sci-fi dead, but dead DEAD.  Dead ’cause they took their own life.  Bullied to death. Hated to death. Different to death.

The gay kids, they need to KNOW it is okay.  They need to know you can be rich, handsome, successful, and loved and BE GAY.  You don’t have to spend your life hiding, or being taunted, or being ashamed. They need to know. And while I don’t consider actors as role models (EXCEPT Mickey Rourke) -

“Other actors are not my concern,” he says. “That’s their life and that’s their journey. Everybody has to get to a point in their own time in their own way. The thing that I’m most proud of in this entire situation is that’s exactly how I did this. It was on my terms, in my own words, and I’m really grateful for that.”

Good for you Zach.  Thanks for coming out. Thanks for being honest. Thanks for being inspirational. And thanks for being you.

And, if you wanna sleep with me NOW – I’m free!

Sincerely,

Dick!

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It is that time again folks! We have dived into our mammoth mailbag, and found a request for help from a reader! It’s time to Talk To Dick….

Hi Dick,

My bf and I have been together 18months and are very happy. He is older then me (he is 31 and I’m 24), and way more experienced (he was my first boyfriend), and for these reasons he seems to be the more sexually aggressive. He really wants a threesome. He has suggested it several times.   After thinking about the idea,  I think l ‘d like it too. Thing is, we can’t seem to decide on who or what type of guy.  He said if it was a twink (like me) he would be more comfortable.  While I would prefer it if the guy was more his age. Thing is,  I really don’t think its something many guys my age would wanna do and I don’t know how to go about planning it.  I really wanna make this happen for him.  Can you give me any advice?

Thanks!

Bobby Boy in Boston

Honestly,  I think this is a fairly common problem. You boys might not like to admit it, but what man hasn’t dreamed about having several dudes drooling over him?  But, threeways can be a relationship killer! So make sure you’ve thought these few issues out:

1) Be sure that your going to do this NOT just for him, but because you would enjoy it too. Just make sure that you are ready and positive about having a threeway,  if you have any doubts don’t go thru with it it! Again, it  could really spoil your relationship.

2) Condoms, condoms, condoms, condoms, condoms and more condoms. Be safe, or be sorry.

3) To the issue of Twink versus Daddy – here is my suggestion.  Agree to the following ground-rule: If you want it, catch it and with approval both will feast on it!  If you see a hot older guy you like, and he likes you, and he thinks your boyfriend is hot, and your boyfriend doesn’t object – then seal the deal.  If he finds a cute twink, and you can see it happening – and he can make it happen – then bring it on.  Each of you do your own shopping. But, you still have to agree. If either of you find the “potential” not attractive, deal is OFF!

4) Keep the lines of communication open.  Between the two of you, and with your thirdling. Establish what is “cool” and what is not. Establish what is going to happen, way way way before you pull the trigger.  It might sound a bit unromantic and a little to clinical – but you need to know what you are getting into before you get into IT. (Or IT/HE gets into YOU!)

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Do you know what makes me happy? Besides eating a hoagie while getting rimmed?   Porn!  You know what else makes me giddy?  Besides reruns of The Cobsy Show?  Reality TV!

So today, I am ecstatic!  I feel like I am eating a hoagie while getting rimmed and watching the Cosby Show!

It appears that Dustin Zito, a star of the gay-for-pay site Fratmen under the alias Spencer, is going to be a cast member of   The Real World: Las Vegas!

The Real World: Las Vegas is the upcoming 25th season of MTV’s  The Real World, so maybe they are blowing out all the casting stunts to make the anniversary super-special.  Perfect! Send in the porn stars!

You may recall that Las Vegas held a previous season – and that was a complete shitshow.  The twelfth season, which aired in 2002, featured some of the greatest sluttery, crystal meth-ed up behavior, and general tomfoolery that I have ever seen…And I have seen it all! The last season in Sin City had that horrible skank Trishelle…She set womanhood and feminism back decades.  Now, MTV found someone to do it for the gay’s!  Hooray! But enough about the show, back to the meat…

Zito / Spencer is a 24-year-old Louisiana native and Lamar University grad.  While most of us put ourselves through college by working at the Gap or as cater-waiters, Zito dove into gay porn to pay for his tuition and books.  God bless the child that helps himself!  Spencer/Zito has been part of the Fratpad community since the site’s launch four years ago, reports DTO.  Also – for more INCREDIBLY NSFW posts of Spencer/Zito check out this WayBig post.

Zito’s exact sexuality is a bit up in the air.  Is he gay?  Gay-for-pay?  Bisexual?  His Facebook profile doesn’t give much up. It doesn’t scream gay to me – unless you include that fact that one of his activities is GENTLMEN.  What the hell does that mean? Why don’t I have that as an activity?

I have to give MTV some mad props though. This little casting wrinkle will certainly get me to tune in!

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Our regular advice feature, Talk to Dick, hasn’t been to regular as of late.  But, I recently got this missive and had to respond…

Hey Dick,

I’ve been dating a guy, let’s call him Tyler, for about 7 weeks.  We both were pretty burned in our previous relationships and were looking for something different in this one. We took it slow, and dated for a while before we began to get involved physically.  Two weeks ago we were intimate.

Thanks to all the time we put into the relationship before we hit the sack, we are very honest and open with one another.  During our first attempt at love-making, Tyler revealed to me he has a strong and serious underwear fetish.  He preferred we both wear, and keep on tightie-whites during sex.  He also informed me he would like me to wear the same pair for a few days.  There is more too – but, it’s weird for me to even write about…

I really like Tyler. But, this underwear thing is just not my deal.  I don’t know what to do.  My uncomfortableness in the sack is becoming more and more visible and I am now at a point were I dread sex.  Advise, please!

Sincerely,

Greg in Nashville

Dear Greg,
We all have our own little ways of getting turned on. Me for example, I like to dress up like a high school cheerleader right before I get plowed.  Am I killing anyone? Is anyone getting hurt?  Nooooooooo….

Yes, perhaps your boyfriends is a little further out of the mainstream than you would, but if you love him. . . it should not matter.  But, if it is damaging your sex life- it will eventually damage your non-sex life relationship. Keeping secrets, insecurity, and disinterest are not the best way to build a relationship.

If you are so open and honest, you have got to talk to him about it.  You need to discuss what YOU want to do and what you don’t want to do. Maybe you have some secret kink that you’d like to play around with? Whips? Chains? Mellons?

The point is, you have a choice to make: can you deal with it, even if it isn’t something you’re entirely cool with, or can you not? Only you know your threshhold. Think about it, and good luck.

Ready to Ascend?

You have to excuse me if their are a bit more mispelllings in this post then usual, but I’m writing from the back of a bus.

I wanted to update all you readers on this weekends’ fun faggotry. I’m off to America’s Gay Summer Capital: Fire Island Pines!

A few months ago, I was attending the International Blogger Symposium and Raw Bar in NYC.  After spending hours talking about myself with some of the ugliest and fattest internet geeks in the country, I was simply to exhausted to prowl around the bars looking xor meat. Instead, I headed back to my hotel and GayLive Network-ed myself a fresh piece of Chelsea choice!  Not only were we completely secually compatible, but we got along so well he invited me up for Ascension Party Weekend in the Pines!

So, after checking out the web and seeing that this was THE party to be at..I am planes, trains and automobiling it out to the Island.  Us bloggers don’t make too much cash, so I’ve had to slash the transportation costs.  Plus, I bought this darling little bathing suit and it cost me an arm and a leg.

Expect on Monday (or maybe Tuesday or Wednesday – you know how it goes…) to get a full REPORT from this party!  Think of me as your DICK on the scene!  I will spare no indignity or danger to bring you full details of the debauchery!