Loud and Queer

.

Do you read The Advocate?

The long-beloved gay rag is always on the cutting edge of homo journalism, sassy celebrity dish, and tawdry and trashy lil tales.  I suppose it also has a bit of political intrigue and social stories – but as a self-centered sex addict, I don’t bother to read THOSE articles.

The latest issue has a juicy little story.  Seems that the Advocate’s star muck-raer, Brandon Voss (formerly of HX) has found another target for his gay exposee.

Voss, clearly diving past the PR bitch,  asks Nick Jonas if he’s a big homo!

No lie!

Well, he didn’t put it exactly LIKE that, but I can read the subtext. Jonas claims he is not a butt pirate, though:

“The amazing thing about our fans is that they’re incredibly supportive about everything that we do, but I have to separate us from the equation because the three of us aren’t gay. If someone in our position came out, I’d hope that support would carry over and that their fans would love them just the same.”

Isn’t that sweet?  Nick just loves the homos!  Just like Jesus! Seriously:

“My upbringing was faith-based, but we believed you should love all others as you want to be loved, because everyone should be treated equally. That’s helped me have an understanding of people on different journeys and in different walks of life. At the end of the day, we’re all the same, because we all want to be loved.”

Then Nick begins to open up about his feelings on gay getting hitched:

My thoughts on gay marriage are that everyone has the right to love and be loved, and that’s the position I take.

Did you also know, that Jonas he has a TON of gay friends! He’s a regular fag stag! (Do people still use that phrase? Never took, did it?)  Jonas should have some queer chums, he’s been working for Disney (GAY!) for years and is now dancing with the queens on Broadway in “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.” In fact, the gays are Nick’s FAVORITE fans:

“My brothers and I totally look forward to meeting them, because they really respond to our style, and it’s cool to see how our influence has impacted what they’re wearing. They also give really good gifts at our meet-and-greets — hats, scarves, and other things. They always have good taste.”

Attention Homosexuals!  here is the direct scoop on the upcoming election: If you’re a gay American, don’t vote for Newt Gingrich.

And guess what, that’s not a Democratic talking point — that’s reportedly what Newt himself said on Tuesday to a gay man in Iowa.

“I asked him if he’s elected, how does he plan to engage gay Americans. How are we to support him?” Scott Arnold, an associate professor of writing at William Penn University, told the Des Moines Register. “And he told me to support Obama.”

Newt (who has a lesbian half-sister who is also an Obama supporter), has come out for a constitutional amendment prohibiting same-sex marriage, which he has called a “temporary aberration that will dissipate.”  So…Yeah…Clearly he ain’t looking for any gay support – but thank God we have confirmation!

Like many other hate-mongers, Newt’s campaign relies heavily on evangelical voters (RE: CRAZY BIBLE BEATERS) who do not trust Mitt Romney. Anywho…. It’s not standard campaign politics to tell someone you don’t want their vote.  Even if you do plan on completely screwing them once you get elected, it is just not typical of a candidate.

“You expect them to support all Americans and have everyone’s general interest,” Arnold told the register. “It’s a little bit frustrating and disheartening when you’re told to support the other side. That he doesn’t need your support.”

Meanwhile, Newt might want to rethink his strategy.  America is getting gayer and gayer!  (I blame Glee)  Check-out this interesting article on how 48 of our States have openly-OUT elected officials!  (And that is not counting the dozens of deeply closeted Republicans….)

Hulk Hogan is not gay, folks. Don’t let the tight spandex or feathered boas fool you.  He has dismissed his ex-wife’s claims that he is gay as “insane” and says he would accept his sexuality if he was gay.

.

The wrestler, film star, and fashion icon -  whose real name is Terry Bollea – has filed a defamation lawsuit against Linda Bollea, his wife for 24 years, after she accused him of domestic violence and a gay affair with fellow wrestler Brutus Beefcake.  Frankly, I never saw the Hulkster as GAY, but Brutus – totally.  She screamed queen. I never got gay from the Hulkster. Nope.  I mean, sure, that mustache is total ’70′s porn – but it is NOT necessarily gay.

Hogan, 58, told US Weekly: “After the four-year crazy divorce I thought I’d heard everything I could hear in the courtroom. Then, all of a sudden she says I abused her, that I was violent. She told everybody that I was a homosexual. If any of that was true, I would admit it, and [if] I was a homosexual I would embrace it. It’s just so crazy to hear, so I have a real problem with it.  If you’re going to say I’m something that I’m not to try to ruin my career and my livelihood… I have to answer her back. It’s so ridiculous. I don’t mean to laugh about it, because it’s not funny. But it’s insane. It doesn’t make any sense to me.”

I love that the Hulkster would “embrace” homosexuality.  I picture him diving into a big pile of sweaty men folk! Just sucking and fucking and licking and rimming and humping and bumping!

In the ex-Mrs. Hulk’s memoir, Wrestling the Hulk: My Life Against the Ropes, the lady claims she was the victim of physical, mental and emotional abuse during her marriage!  The trifecta!

“Hulk tore my clothes, threw lamps, and held me down on the bed with his hands around my throat during arguments,” Ms Bollea wrote. “I was always afraid he would kill me in one of his rages.”

The pair, who divorced in 2009, have a daughter  Brooke and son Nick (aka Hulk Jr.) together.

.

Presidential hopeful, and Governor of the Lone Star state, Rick Perry (who is NOT Katy Perry’s husband, brother, or father. I know, I was shocked too) is under fire from a conservative national gay rights group for his recent campaign ad, “Strong,” in which the one-time front-runner denounces the repeal of “Don’t ask, Don’t Tell”.

“You don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know that there’s something wrong with our country,” says Perry, wearing a barn coat and appearing in a pastoral setting, “when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas.”

The ad, which has already gone viral on YouTube with millions and millions of  views, is “myopic, and not representative of the conservative movement, which is trending towards inclusion” said R. Clarke Cooper, exec director of the Log Cabin Republicans.  Seriously! It is bad when even the Log Cabin guys hate it!

“This ad is a desperate measure during a time when he’s floundering,” said Cooper. “You can’t isolate a message on the internet. 98 percent of the viewers (on YouTube) indicate a dislike for this ad,” he said, adding “it’s naive to think that this ad would go to a target market and stay there.”

The Huffington Post reported Thursday that Perry’s own campaign was divided over the message in the ad. Delicious! Internal strife! Taste so good!

Poor Rick. He was once the front-runner. Flush with filthy rich oil money, and walking in the size 7 stinkin’ boots of George Bush, Rick thought he would stroll right off his horse and into the White House.  Then, he had a complete meltdown on TV! Babbled like my 13-month-old nephew!

The reaction has actually been so negative that the posting of the ad on YouTube has just achieved the record for the most dislikes on a single video. The clip surpassed Rebecca Black’s now infamous “Friday” music video to claim the top spot as YouTube’s most hated video.

Now while millions are watching this video, it seems that NOBODY is lovin’ it!  Currently, Perry’s video has approximately 350,000 “dislikes!”  Ouch!

.

Hey Gleeks!

You are about to get a big dose of more GAY in your nightly Glee episodes.  (Is that even possible?)

Super-cute Grant Gustin will play the menacing role of Sebastian, a gay character who will shake things up romantically with Blaine, played by Darren Criss.  Dum-dum-dum! Gustin’s first episode as Sebastian will air Nov. 8.

Gustin is a long-time theater veteran with his previous role in “West Side Story” taking a backseat to his new role in Glee.

On his new role as Sebastian, Gustin explained, “He’s kind of a new type of gay character. He’s someone you wouldn’t necessarily know is gay unless you asked him, but he’d be the first person to tell you.”

“He’s very confident and comfortable with who he is and what he wants. Darren (Criss) was that new confident strong gay character, and Sebastian is taking that a step further. He’s a guys-guy, just a dude who happens to be gay, he’s a lacrosse player, he’s popular. He’s after Blaine, obviously, and he’s also trying to take the place that Blaine had as the leader of the Warblers.”

Normally, I get a little squeamish when I hear that someone is a “guy’s guy kinda gay” – it always sounds a little homophobic to me. I am a screaming queen and I have never had ANY problem relating to any kind of open-minded hetero. But, I agree it is certainly time to bring a fuller spectrum of homosexuality to the masses.  I guess after two seasons of Kurt’s super-super-queer, we can sneak in some butchiness.

.

Dear Zach,

Congratulations!  I am so proud of you for taking the bold move to step out of that Hollywood closet, and into the bright, shiny, sweet-smelling world of WEST Hollywood! Welcome! Don’t you feel more relaxed now? More free? Lighter?  Refreshed? God bless you my friend. God bless you!

You told Access Hollywood, “I just felt like it was my time, you know? I felt like it was a week of declarations for me. I’m declaring that I’m gay, I’m declaring that I want to be a serious contributor to the dialogues that are happening in the world right now. The way that I can do that is creatively.”

I remember when we first met. It was San Diego Comic Con 2006.  I was a young, fresh-faced, hot-to-trot little Marketing peep with the SciFi (now SyFy) Channel. You were the big star of Heroes.  Your friend/agent/fag hag was all up in my grille trying to get me to spread them for you. I declined.  Boy, am I regretting it now.
And I’m not regretting it cause your now a multi-millionaire  superstar. NO.  It has nothing to do with the fame, the money, the diamonds, the parties, the piles of pure white cocaine, the beach house, the rent boys, the furs, the Fendi, Prada, D& G, the private jet. NONE OF THAT.  ZIP.

I didn’t find you attractive then.  Too tall. Too dark.  Too NBC.  I hate NBC.  And Jesus, that show Heroes was a mess. I mean – rip off the X-Men much?   I am a HUGE Trekkie fan too – but Spock has never done it for me.  And honestly, you were next to Chris Pine. CHRIS PINE. I’d sell my teeth to give Chris Pine a tongue bath!

No, I regret it now – ’cause I’m so stunned to see a Hollywood actor, especially one with your trajectory, come out of the closet!  It gives me hope!  I have been so depressed lately. It seems like a lot of kids, a lot of sweet, innocent, beautiful kids, end up in the news everyday dead.  DEAD.  Not sci-fi dead, but dead DEAD.  Dead ’cause they took their own life.  Bullied to death. Hated to death. Different to death.

The gay kids, they need to KNOW it is okay.  They need to know you can be rich, handsome, successful, and loved and BE GAY.  You don’t have to spend your life hiding, or being taunted, or being ashamed. They need to know. And while I don’t consider actors as role models (EXCEPT Mickey Rourke) -

“Other actors are not my concern,” he says. “That’s their life and that’s their journey. Everybody has to get to a point in their own time in their own way. The thing that I’m most proud of in this entire situation is that’s exactly how I did this. It was on my terms, in my own words, and I’m really grateful for that.”

Good for you Zach.  Thanks for coming out. Thanks for being honest. Thanks for being inspirational. And thanks for being you.

And, if you wanna sleep with me NOW – I’m free!

Sincerely,

Dick!

.

Thomas Jane plays a male prostitute in his hit HBO series , and it turns out he’s perfect for the role because he can draw from personal experience.  In a new interview with the L.A. Times, Hung star Thomas Jane says he worked as a hustler and turn tricks with men to make ends meet when he first moved to L.A.:

“Hey, you grow up as an artist in a big city, as James Dean said, you’re going to have one arm tied behind your back if you don’t accept people’s sexual flavors. You know, when I was a kid out here in L.A., I was homeless, I didn’t have any money and I was living in my car. I was 18. I wasn’t averse to going down to Santa Monica Boulevard and letting a guy buy me a sandwich. Know what I mean?”

“You’re a lot more open to experimentation as a young man. And for me, being a young artist and broke in Los Angeles, I was exploring my sexual identity. And probably because of my middle-class, white blue-collar upbringing, I would have never had the opportunity to confront some of my own fears and prejudices had I not been hungry enough to be forced to challenge myself in that way.”

This hot little dish all came from some flack Jane was in recently.  In a previous interview, Jane was talking about his role as Ray on the show and that when Ray ends up with a dick in his mouth, that will be the last season of the show. Jane said that our world had gotten too politically correct and wished he could elucidate his comment. The reporter gave him a chance and here is what he said:He says the experience “blew the doors off of a conventional upbringing.” But while Jane was maybe fooling around with a little boy-love, his genetic heterosexuality won out:

“And then you actually have a choice, and I chose to be a heterosexual guy because that’s what my DNA dictates and my nurture dictates that I am…I don’t know. I think up to a point it’s a choice. But I’ll tell you what — it’s not a choice until you’re open enough to experience both male and female sexuality. Until you’ve tasted the food, you don’t know whether you’ll like it or not, as my mom always said.”

.

Who doesn’t truly adore “Dean of Drag” RuPaul?

He has been a model, actor, singer,  television show host (his first show on the Oxygen Network was really excellent and entertaining, but somehow never got any ratings), author ( “Lettin’ It All Hang Out” and “Workin’ It! RuPaul’s Guide to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Style“).

His most recent successes is the double whammy of popular reality TV shows, “RuPaul’s Drag Race” & “RuPaul’s Drag U,” both on the super-gay Logo Cable Network.

Now, did you know that RuPaul was the product of a traditional summer camp some 40 years ago (the drag diva is now 50)?  Seems it was at camp that the future SUPERSTAR learned all the basics of performance!  RuPaul shared a conversation about summer camps with singer/songwriter Lisa Loeb of “Stay (I Missed You)” fame.

“It was a time where I got to do everything that was fun. You know, I got to play guitar; I learned to finger pick. We got to make up skits and perform them live in front of people. I think that it was one of the first places I performed as an individual, instead of always as part of a group . . . what really, really emerged was a certain sense of independence, of being away from the parents and having an identity outside of the family . . . I’m just remembering that that sense of magic I had at camp. Of understanding that you can create magic wherever you go, just even based on how you look at something or what you call something or singing songs or just creating a different world.“