Loud and Queer

Bergen County's Finest!

I am sure that like me, so me of you have a thing for men in uniform…

Imagine how hot the fire in my crotch became when I received these pics.

Apparently, they are of the Bergen County Sheriff’s Department….But, I can’t verify that since their website seems to be only about crime stuff.  The boring, non-SVU kind of crime too.  No sexy.

But, I found Sheriff Leo P. McGuire on Facebook, and while a handsome man – he doesn’t look like any of these fellows.

After endless hours of Googling my brain off…I can’t seem to find ANYTHING that verifies who, what, where, when and the how-long of these pics.   

I'm FALLING for you...

They could be fakes.

They could be images of an all gay Sheriff’s Department (I’m moving!), they could be a nice calendar shoot for horny soccer Moms in the Jersey area.  I dunno.  I give up!

You fat donut-eating flatfoot. You make me sick. Gross.

The source who sent these pics is also completely useless.  Sent by a high school girlfriend of mine, she sent them along the “forward” trail, they came from another lonely housewife she gabs with on AOL. (Who uses AOL anymore?  Hello, dated!).  So, I turn to you dear readers…

Fully Loaded!

Don't be shy, come into the frame!

Can anyone shed any light on this little mystery?

Who are these boys?

Why are they running around without shirts?

What is the best crime for me to commit in Bergen to get a chance to suckle on one of their nipples?

So, until we can find out the truth behind these pics – I am content to live in a fantasy world.  I will just imagine that Bergen County has hired the hottest fighting force this side of the X-Men.

Now, I’m off to set a new Honda Accord land-speed record on the New Jersey TurnPike. Are those sirens I hear?

First, let me get this out of the way:  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? I’m spazzing!

Second: this is still Carter -  Dick’s intern.  Dick is back from his boy buffet ont he coast, but a very viral and vicious case of pink eye, typhoid, and the clap have kept him hiding under the covers for a few days.  So, I’m writing the blog again today!

Third: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?  I snarfed my fierce Fiji water when I read about this nonsense! What am I twisted about? Here goes…

I can't smell you!

For those of you who wondered how we could put a man on the moon, but not keep your gross cousin Paul from stinking up the car on cross-country drives with his noxious butt bubbles – your questions have been answered! British scientists (who knew they had any! they sure don’t have dentists!) have finally created a system to keep your stinky fumes from destroying the air and ambiance of any event!

Presenting, SHREDDIES, underwear that keeps the STINK you make under wraps!

I’m no scientist, so here’s what the website says about this miracle product:

Shreddies underwear features a special activated carbon back panel that absorbs flatulence odors. Due to its highly porous nature, the odor become trapped and neutralised by the cloth, which is then reactivated by simply washing the garment.

Activated carbon cloth is used in chemical warfare suits which demonstrates just how effective it is at removing vapors. When it was originally invented, the carbon cloth was a heavy, non flexible woven material, but due to a recent innovation this activated carbon cloth is now a lot thinner and far more flexible, making it ideal for use in the new generation of chemical warfare suits and garments such as our underwear.

The underwear is designed to hug the body to give the carbon back panel a snug fit, forcing all flatulence odours to pass directly through it, allowing you to relax knowing there is no risk of any flatulence odors escaping.

Isn’t this completely insane?  I’m losing my shit!

These odor eliminators come for boys and girls, and in fun and fresh different styles!  For the boys, we have: Boxers, Adjustable Boxers, Hipsters, Briefs, and Hipsters & Boxers with Carbon Wedge!  I’m odoring (whoops, Freudian slip!) ordering several sizes from each kind for many of my chronically squeaking family members.

My FAVORITE part of this website is the testimonials!  So funny they literally made me toot!

Ready to Ascend?

You have to excuse me if their are a bit more mispelllings in this post then usual, but I’m writing from the back of a bus.

I wanted to update all you readers on this weekends’ fun faggotry. I’m off to America’s Gay Summer Capital: Fire Island Pines!

A few months ago, I was attending the International Blogger Symposium and Raw Bar in NYC.  After spending hours talking about myself with some of the ugliest and fattest internet geeks in the country, I was simply to exhausted to prowl around the bars looking xor meat. Instead, I headed back to my hotel and GayLive Network-ed myself a fresh piece of Chelsea choice!  Not only were we completely secually compatible, but we got along so well he invited me up for Ascension Party Weekend in the Pines!

So, after checking out the web and seeing that this was THE party to be at..I am planes, trains and automobiling it out to the Island.  Us bloggers don’t make too much cash, so I’ve had to slash the transportation costs.  Plus, I bought this darling little bathing suit and it cost me an arm and a leg.

Expect on Monday (or maybe Tuesday or Wednesday – you know how it goes…) to get a full REPORT from this party!  Think of me as your DICK on the scene!  I will spare no indignity or danger to bring you full details of the debauchery!

If you are anything like me, you get weak in the knees and hard in the crotch every time the video vixens at GayLive Network release one of these smoking hot videos.  I won’t yap away too much, since a picture is worth a thousand words….That would mean, this video is worth a thousand volumes!

No video above?  No problem.  Click here and you’ll be magically transported away!

Now, for our second installment for our amazing behind-the-scenes, Boys In Briefs series!

This one has me totally GA-GA-GAY-GAY.  Tell me that you can honestly watch this video the whole way through without wanting to like your screen?  I think I shorted out my lap top dripping saliva on the keyboard!  Lord have mercy!

Another option… Click Here.  It’s all about having options!

It is GAY PRIDE month! And the 1800GayLive gang is rocking and rolling from coast to coast! 

Hot Hot Hot Pride!

The 1800GayLive team spend last week cha-cha-cha-ing with some of the hunkiest flesh all over the state.  But, we want to meet with as many guys as possible across the country!one.  I’m looking for a dream man in every city and every time-zone.  1800GayLive will be handing out swag and documenting the proceeds via  1800GayLive television cameras! Hot flesh will be interviewed on topics like: Your favorite position? Do I stand a chance with any of the cast of Twilight?  Ar you  a top or bottom?  What do you look for in a guy? Do beards make you giggle when they touch your inner thigh?  You know – all the deep, deep, Diane Sawyer style questions.

This weekend, the fun continues from coast to coast in:

• Boston, MA – Years ago I snogged the most adorable water-taxi driving while I was racing from P-Town to the Ferry.  I forget his name but can’t forget him.  Let’s try to find him.
  
• Los Angeles, CA -  Models and mayhem in the City of Angels!

We look forward to seeing you all at a Pride in around the country!  This week one place, next week another!