Loud and Queer

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Do you know what makes me happy? Besides eating a hoagie while getting rimmed?   Porn!  You know what else makes me giddy?  Besides reruns of The Cobsy Show?  Reality TV!

So today, I am ecstatic!  I feel like I am eating a hoagie while getting rimmed and watching the Cosby Show!

It appears that Dustin Zito, a star of the gay-for-pay site Fratmen under the alias Spencer, is going to be a cast member of   The Real World: Las Vegas!

The Real World: Las Vegas is the upcoming 25th season of MTV’s  The Real World, so maybe they are blowing out all the casting stunts to make the anniversary super-special.  Perfect! Send in the porn stars!

You may recall that Las Vegas held a previous season – and that was a complete shitshow.  The twelfth season, which aired in 2002, featured some of the greatest sluttery, crystal meth-ed up behavior, and general tomfoolery that I have ever seen…And I have seen it all! The last season in Sin City had that horrible skank Trishelle…She set womanhood and feminism back decades.  Now, MTV found someone to do it for the gay’s!  Hooray! But enough about the show, back to the meat…

Zito / Spencer is a 24-year-old Louisiana native and Lamar University grad.  While most of us put ourselves through college by working at the Gap or as cater-waiters, Zito dove into gay porn to pay for his tuition and books.  God bless the child that helps himself!  Spencer/Zito has been part of the Fratpad community since the site’s launch four years ago, reports DTO.  Also – for more INCREDIBLY NSFW posts of Spencer/Zito check out this WayBig post.

Zito’s exact sexuality is a bit up in the air.  Is he gay?  Gay-for-pay?  Bisexual?  His Facebook profile doesn’t give much up. It doesn’t scream gay to me – unless you include that fact that one of his activities is GENTLMEN.  What the hell does that mean? Why don’t I have that as an activity?

I have to give MTV some mad props though. This little casting wrinkle will certainly get me to tune in!

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Halloween can bring out the slut in everyone, can’t it?

Honestly, it is the only day of the year we really completely cut loose and dress like a complete tramp.

Have you seen what women wear? Seriously? Have you?  I can’t – since women don’t even show-up on my screen.  I bump into them all the time at Victoria’s Secrets. I never see them!

The Halloween slutification effect isn’t limited to just the gyno-crowd. Men too can get slutty. My straight brother consistently finds a way to smash his junk into any kind of tights he possible can…Peter Pan? Done. Wrestler? Twice. Superhero? Every other year.

Gay men are extremely susceptible to Halloween’s call of skin. I am the biggest culprit. I rack my brain every year to figure out how I can go out in my underwear with some body paint. Doesn’t matter what – just keep me nearly naked.  Please.

Celebrities aren’t even immune. Well, unless they are Scientologists. But, the C to D list celebs really drop their Levi’s and get slutty.  For example, here is Trace...

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Trace is a character on Bravo’s Flipping Out.  If you haven’t seen it – I thought this season sucked – so you aren’t missing much. Unless you like watching weird gay guys argue about designing bathrooms.  Sounds like my ex-boyfriend.  Trace is normally dressed pretty dapper for a young gay. I give him credit, kid looks good usually.

Well, above, you can see Trace really cuts loose on Halloween!  Bravo (Punny!) Trace! If you honestly had the courage to walk out of your house dressed in this – and ONLY this – I want to give you a big hug.  A long big hug, so long you won’t even notice how my hands slide down your back to those little twink mellons.  And if you did notice, you wouldn’t care.  I know what you are saying with this outfit Trace.  It says “I am a power-bottom looking for a slightly sporty guy to go for the touch down in my mangina.”

Here to your right, you can see how Trace dresses for work.  And for his Facebook page.  Dapper right?  Although take a hint Trace, those shoes will do nothing for your arches.

Happy Homoween!

I hope all of you lovely boys and girls will have fun trick or treating.  If you get lonely on this spooky night -

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and who doesn’t want someone to snuggle with when it gets dark – don’t despair.  There is someone out there for everyone!

Plus, if your not feeling as pretty as you did over the fall – if your like me, you might have put on some winter weight – Halloween is the perfect time for manhunting.  Let a clever costume cover up your physical flaws.  Zitty break-out got you down?  Zombie make-up!  Feeling kind of chubby?  Go as a polar bear!

Plus, Halloween is a GAY holiday. It’s the time of the year when frat boys dress up as Saint Paulie girls, and homos dress up as rugby boys. This is the one day out of the year that you come as you WANT to be – not as you are…

And don’t segregate yourself tonight gentle reader.  Party hop, house hop, bar hop…I’ve found the most erotic luck at straight parties.  You can always find a cute and tipsy straight boy who is daring enough to make-out on Halloween.

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Rising star Max Rhyser (“Twilight of the Gods,” “Inbetween Men”) graced the cover of Instinct (September, 2010) as part of his personal campaign to declare himself as an out and proud gay, as well as serious, actor.  The 29-year-old, born in Amsterdam, to a Danish father and an American-Israeli mother, moved around Europe while he was growing up.  His travels and experiences have only further cemented a solid sexuality in his mind, explains Rhyser:

“I’m not bisexual. I’m a gay man . . . I’m very attracted to the male figure.”

In his breakthrough film “Homeland”, Rhyser plays Kobi Zucker an Israeli looking to start fresh in New York City who falls in love with a young Palestinian woman.  Now playing Jacob Ross, a bisexual man trying to bridge the gap between the straight and gay world, Rhyser is one of the “high-powered, masculine ‘out’ men in “Inbetween Men.” Created by Quincy Morris, “Inbetween Men” is a new the web-series that sounds like a more serious and very gay version of Sex and the City.  Joining Rhyser is hot hunky stars Nick Mathews, Ben Pamies, and Chase Coleman.

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Who will be Mr. Gay USA?  Me? You? Him?

When I was just a young little power-bottom, I watched my older sister win Wingfield, Illinois Miss Dairy, 1993.  She was radiant, she was talented, she let one of the judges diddle her lady-mystery, and she told everyone her biggest opponent had aborted our pastor’s baby. Many people said she strived so hard to get that title because she was competitive.  Some said ’cause she was driven.  But, I knew.  It was cause she was shallow, self-absorbed, and Daddy never told her he loved her.  Damn…I wanted to be her.

Well, now all of us gay boys can….

On Saturday, November 13^th,  Philadelphia will host the hotly anticipated U.S. Mr. Gay competition.  The event brings together contestants (check them out! Orange County, San Diego and San Fran are my favs…) representing many of the country’s most gay cities (wait…Orange County? Virginia Beach? Orange County?)  and hoping bathhouse meccas.  A series of competitive categories (keep your mind out of the gutter…)and performances (I said, keep your mind out of the gutter…) will climax in the naming of the 2011 U.S. Mr. Gay titleholder!  The winner of this competition will go on to compete in International Mr. Gay (IMG).  Plus, get a year of free botox and teeth-whitening!  And maybe, just maybe…Daddy will finally love you!

Gossip columnist Michael Musto, celebrity stylist and reality TV star David Evangelista, four time Emmy-award winning television producer Terence Noonan, and national magazine editor Mr. Mickey headline the  judges’ panel. Lord Almight! Musto better be the judge of something! That weirdo gargoyle couldn’t get a handjob from a blind waterbuffalo.  I bet he at least get a ball scratch from the contestant from Fire Island.

In addition to amazing judges, Sirius OUT Q radio star, Frank DeCaro hosts of the event.  I am sure that bald funny man will have a field day when these sluts are catwalking for dollars.

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While I might be a huge homo, I am no sissy.

In fact, I am a huge sportsmen.  In college, I was a wide receiv – argh! Okay, it’s even to ridiculous for me to keep going with this set-up. Forget the jokes, lets go right to the game…

I promised you some porn a few posts back, and today I am delivering! To help welcome in the fall season, when all ‘real’ men gather around the couch to watch their football hero’s, I’ve picked some super-hot jock porn for you to sample! First up,  hot athletes banging the shit!

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Meet  Brad Star (right) who fucking throttles Dexter Meat in Fall Ballers.  These two “high school jocks” decide to take their rivalry off the field and into the bed. Sweaty cracks and hard ding-dongs continue as the rest of the soccer team and football team follow suit in a ball-grabbing and man-handling extravaganza! This is a great little flick that brings together a bubbling pot of very straight-acting-but-big-ole-bottomy sporty gays who suck it and fuck it and generally hump their jockstraps silly.  It’s all-American perversion at its very best, and you’ll feel like you watched an episode of Friday Night Lights as directed by Chi Chi La Rue.

On the other side of the field we have the mindblowing Jock Itch! Billed as the first video for sports gear fanatics, this baby has got it all.  Any sport or sport equipment or sports attire fetish you might keep tucked back in the dirty little corners of your mind – will ADORE this raunchy locker room sexshow.  Watch as tattoos get mashed up against tight abs and salads get tossed as cocks get sucked. It’s a frothy and fantastic fiesta.

So popular and hot was the original Jock Itch, that they’ve rushed out a horny little sequel: Jock Itch 2: Balls To The Wall .  So if you want to have a real game-day Sunday with a double-header, then buy/rent/steal the duo and really score big.

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I’ve been so distracted lately.  Two college kids have moved in across the street from me, and while they are straight – they do spend a lot of time walking around shirtless.

Especially on Thursdays.

While I’ve been busy monitoring the frat-fun with night vision binoculars, I completely forgot to blog about the return of Starving Naked Boys Survivor.  This time, in Nicaragua! I had completely forgotten about Nicaragua.  Nobody has spoken about that banana republic since the Reagan years.

This year, Survivor has kept its pact with the gay Devil, and we have plenty of hunks to drop our panties for.  Like Tyrone here to your left!

Name: Tyrone Davis

Age: 42
Tribe: Espada Current Residence: Inglewood, Calif.
Occupation: Fire Captain

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Or we have Mr. Gayface here…

Name: Ben “Benry” Henry  (ARE YOU KIDDING ME? GAY! GAY NICKNAME!)

Age: 24
Tribe: La Flor Current Residence: Los Angeles, Calif.
Occupation: Club Promoter

This is not a spectacularly good pic of Benry – GAK! GAK!  Ack!  I can’t even say that nickname without gagging.

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WHOA!  How did this old geezer get in here?

Name: Jimmy Johnson

Age: 67
Tribe: Espada Current Residence: Islamorada, Fla.
Occupation: Sports Broadcaster

Yes – this is the legendary Jimmy Johnson – football icon. Even this little poofster knows who Jimmy Johnson is…Frankly, he is a silver-freaking-fox. I’d totally let him by my Daddy Johnson.  Bitch looks good for nearly 70.

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From Daddy to Baby-Daddy, meet my current wanking fantasy, Chase!

Name: Chase Rice

Age: 24
Tribe: La Flor Current Residence: Fairview, N.C.
Occupation: Pro Race Car Jackman

I have no clue what a “jackman” is – nor am I going to go for the easy laugh with a joke. It sounds butch. He looks butch. I’ll take two of him.

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More featured meat today is Shannon – which I think is really a woman’s name…

Name: Shannon Elkins

Age: 30

Tribe: La Flor   Current Residence: Lafayette, La.
Occupation: Pest Control Co. Owner

This bozo got all wacky paranoid and homophobic during last week’s tribal council.  Check out dream boy’s dazzling self-destructive rant.

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Our final selection is a daddy bear?  Is he a polar bear?  (I haven’t seen BearCity yet, so I don’t know if all my bear-speak is absolute.)

Marty Piombo
Age: 48
Tribe: Espada Current Residence: Mill Valley, Calif.
Occupation: Technology executive

If you want to check out the rest of the cast, go HERE!

Meet McFly!  This boner-time band is from Britian.  The band consists of Tom Fletcher (lead vocals and guitar), Danny Jones (lead vocals and guitar), Dougie Poynter (backing vocals and bass guitar) and Harry Judd (drums).  The band rose to fame in the U.K. after fellow pop band Busted helped launch them by inviting them to tour in March 2004. And yes, the band’s name originates from the character Marty McFly from the Back to the Future trilogy.

While McFly’s popularity is still climbing here in the U.S. You might remember them from their appearance in tge film Just My Luck, starring Lindsay “Not A Cokehead”  Lohan and Chris Pine. The band played themselves in the film and released a US album, Just My Luck, which was also used as the film’s soundtrack.

The images you are about to see…Are SCORCHING hot.  Just BEYOND.  I’ve jerked off twice, called over three GayLiveNetwork tricks, and jumped my cleaning boy.  This is the cover and spread for an upcoming issue of the British magazine, Attitude. Attitude has a good rep beyond just queer niche, the magazine has gotten celebrity exclusive interviews from peeps like Madonna and that Harry Potter kid.  They also must have the ability to hypnotize straight boys into taking off their clothing.   Again, this outlandish behavior proves I need to get off my ass and take a European vacation.

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Where is his hand? Did he slam his willy in the drawer?  Also, I’d love to thank the photogs for making sure someone’s mouth is hanging wide-open in every single pic. Like they are begging to suck it.  (Sorry, I said this was intense)

I'd appreciate a bit more grab ass...

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Cute Hippy!

I work out with the most adorable gym partner. He’s totally straight, but he never wears a jock or underwear – so I have plenty of stuff to look at while I am getting “spotted.”  Just yesterday, he told me how he was all psyched to go see Juliana Hatfield, and how he’d always had a fan-crush on her. I commented how I had always had a crush on most of the members of Third Eye Blind and The Statler Brothers.  Being a hip and cool cat, he asked me what I thought of Evan Dando.
My mind blanked.  Who was Evan Dando?

So, I replied. “I worship him.”

Now, it seems me and Straighty McHotterson have a date!  Turns out that Evan Dando and Juliana Hatfield will play together as a proper duo in NYC on Wednesday, September 29 and Thursday, September 30th at The Mercury Lounge for the first time ever!  Great for us! But who is Evan Dando!

Well, I ran home as fast as I could and googled the crap out of this fellow. Turns out, I do remember him and liked his music. He’s the alt-rock hot hippie above, who fronted the Lemonheads and dates Winona Ryder…  (Sidenote – I do love Juliana Hatfield too…).  I also did some research on the shows – and here is the skinny….Quote unquote my straightie friend…

While these two music legends have shared plenty of stages – it has never been quite like this. Expect the show to be filled with old songs from both artists, some new songs, some cover songs and, of course, amazing harmonies.

In speaking of these upcoming shows Juliana shares  “In the past when I worked with Evan it was always in a strictly auxiliary capacity – backup singing, bass playing – but now that we will be on equal footing I think we could do a lot of damage. I’ve always thought that Evan was an underrated songwriter…..his good looks and antiestablishment attitude have overshadowed his skills.” (FYI – She was BANGING Evan for a while too – so I bet she knows everything about his skills…WINK WINK….)

And, Evan reminisces “Juliana and I first met and started playing music together when we were 19. Since then Juliana has only gotten better and better. Now it’s like playing with someone I’m a huge fan of and totally revere.” (WINK WINK!)

Now while me and my straight boyfriend will be checking these two rocking horndogs out in NYC, you might get to see them in other cities too.  Looks like there may be some Boston dates in the cards as well…..

Royal Abs!

Everyone, rejoice!  Raise a glass, raise your voice, drop your shorts! Today is a very very special day!

Today is the 26th Birthday of His Royal Highness Prince Harry of England!

The youngest (and most adorably ginger) son of Prince Charles and the late Princess Diana has one fire-crotch I’d love to dive into. Check out the pics of him to the side – this is when he was in Iraq!

Beyond the fact that Harry is freaking adorable, he is also 2nd in line to the British throne.  POWER! I’d totally marry him and go completely Lady MacBeth on the Palace’s ass.  I’d be the Queen before you knew it!

Prince Harry was named a top gay icon last year (just like his Mama1), thanks to his bad-boy good looks and athletic physique. He is one of Google’s most searched-for male celebrities. Having washboard abs and a sexy smile doesn’t hurt, either! No it does not!

“Red hair is getting very, very trendy in the gay scene,” says Haydon Bridge, a columnist with U.K.-based gay magazine QX.  Especially when it is on someone worth billions!

I love a man in uniform

The 6’3″ birthday boy, who plays competitive polo, rugby, skis, and motocross, cultivated a reputation as a wild child during his early 20s for his underage drinking and late-night partying. All which endeared him more to me!  We gays love to party into the wee hours of the AM!

In November 2009, Harry earned the affection of the gay community when he kissed a male fan in exchange for a beer.

“I went up to him and told him I would love to buy him a drink – if he gave me a kiss,” Rocky Bennett, a 21-year-old admirer told UK tabloids.

He adds: “Harry just burst out laughing, threw his arms around me and kissed me on the left cheek.”

It is wonderful to hear that Harry is not only NOT homophobic, but slightly gay for pay.  This is absolutely the kind of leader I want in a man.

To celebrate the young Prince’s birthday – I want you to all watch this super-hot Star Trek/ Kei$ha mash-up!  While it has absolutely nothing to do with Prince Harry or his red-zone, I love it.

If you don’t see the box above (ewww, I said box)….  Click HERE.