Loud and Queer

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Over this weekend, infamous and unstoppable party promoter John Blair crawled out of obscurity and opened up a new club: XL.  IN NEW YORK! A brand-new, farm-fresh, ready for your steady, club.  A big, old-school, C-L-U-B.

See kids, back in the OLDEN DAYS, clubs were much different animals then the shit we got going now. The joints that call themselves clubs? Not so much.  No New Yorkers, Eastern Bloc is NOT a club. Yes New Yorkers, Splash is (sadly) a club. Clubs are big, have multiple bars, a huge dance floor (or two), drug dealers by the dozen, and plenty of shit going on at every turn.  Hot shit. Dirty shit. Nasty shit.

When I was a naive and handsome little queer, I used to shake my pussy at clubs like Club USA (legendary!), the Palladium (Club MTV was filmed there!) Limelight (See the movie Party Monster for the details) Twilo (the tippy-tippy-top) Sound Factory (meh) and Crobar NY (cheese-EEEEEE).

These were clubs.

They were so big you could actually sneak a smoke inside without people knowing. Oh who am I kidding, I don’t smoke. I meant bump. BUMP.  God, those were the good old days.

Now, when I need to dance in NY, I’m stuck going to these tiny little crack-dens. Places where I am fighting for floor space with some urban hipster and fat drag queen.  No thanks.

Alright, enough about the history of glamourous nightlife.  This weekend, they opened a gigantic new gay club in NYC. It is the first large club opening in a long time, and damn sure the first big old gay club in COMPLETELY gay club in even longer.  The space is all decked out with the latest gadgety stuff in lights, sound systems, and other fancy-schmancy stuff. Even with all that stuff, the joint does feel like its from a low-gone era. It is totally retro.  It does feel dated.  Yes, its kinda tacky. No, scratch that… It is TACKY.  Super tacky.

But who cares? I don’t give a shit.  Do I agree with all the reviews? Yup. You want to know what this hoe-down is like? Read HERE.  It’s probably the best description of the joint I have read. Dead on.

But all this bitching and blabbing is completely missing the boat. Who fucking cares if this new club looks like the after-birth from Studio 54′s botched abortion. (And I mean the movie, not even the club…) Who cares!  We got a new club, dickbags! Celebrate it!

The economy has been in the crapper for so long, so very very long.  Clubs are not the world’s greatest investments either. (Unless your skimming, wink-wink.) So banks and money-barons have not been handing out the loot to people who want to open big dance joints. Especially if they are gay!

I think everyone needs to shut=the-fuck-up about the decor, the music, the lines…Whatever…Just suck it up. The club doesn’t have to be the one for YOU. It might not appeal to your karma every night, and maybe not any night. But all of us gays should get down on our hands and knees and thank the Disco Gods for sending us something!   ‘Cause you know, if this one is popular – their will be more following it!

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Calling all homosexuals, designers, bored people, and creative types!  We have a little job for you!

Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN), with sponsorship by ChatterBlast Media, a Phily-based social media firm (Social media firm? Why do I picture a bunch of SLACKERS!), today announced a nationwide contest that invites supporters of LGBT military equality to design its Twentieth Anniversary t-shirt.  Something for your summer wardrobe!

The contest will be conducted entirely via Facebook, allowing participants to enter an unlimited number of submissions. The winner will be chosen via Facebook votes and announced at SLDN’s Twentieth Annual National Dinner on Saturday, March 3, 2012 in Washington, D.C. The first SLDN national dinner since the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) last September, the event will mark the kickoff of a year-long celebration of the organization’s twentieth year of service to the nation’s LGBT service members. SLDN was founded in 1993, shortly after the passage of the discriminatory DADT law.

Some background on SLDN….The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network is a non-partisan, non-profit, legal services & policy organization dedicated to bringing full equality to our  military and ending discrimination and harassment on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. SLDN provides free and direct legal assistance to service members and veterans affected by the repealed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law and the prior regulatory ban on open service, as well as those currently serving who may experience harassment or discrimination. Since 1993, our in-house legal team has responded to more than 11,000 requests for assistance.

Now if you NEED help….There is a SLDN FREE HOTLINE: Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender service members with questions are urged to contact the SLDN hotline to speak with a staff attorney: Call 1-800-538-7418 or 202-328-3244 x100.  Do not call for sex!  Do not! Call GayLiveNetwork!

“This is an exciting time to be an advocate for full LGBT equality in the military, and we are thrilled to invite SLDN’s supporters to get involved in helping us design the t-shirt that will commemorate this anniversary year,” said Army Veteran and SLDN Executive Director Aubrey Sarvis. The shirt will be available for sale via SLDN’s web site and will be used at events across the country throughout the Twentieth Anniversary celebration.

The contest begins today, with submissions accepted through February 13. Voting will take place online February 14 – 24. For the full contest rules and to enter, visit SLDN’s Facebook page HERE!

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Do you read The Advocate?

The long-beloved gay rag is always on the cutting edge of homo journalism, sassy celebrity dish, and tawdry and trashy lil tales.  I suppose it also has a bit of political intrigue and social stories – but as a self-centered sex addict, I don’t bother to read THOSE articles.

The latest issue has a juicy little story.  Seems that the Advocate’s star muck-raer, Brandon Voss (formerly of HX) has found another target for his gay exposee.

Voss, clearly diving past the PR bitch,  asks Nick Jonas if he’s a big homo!

No lie!

Well, he didn’t put it exactly LIKE that, but I can read the subtext. Jonas claims he is not a butt pirate, though:

“The amazing thing about our fans is that they’re incredibly supportive about everything that we do, but I have to separate us from the equation because the three of us aren’t gay. If someone in our position came out, I’d hope that support would carry over and that their fans would love them just the same.”

Isn’t that sweet?  Nick just loves the homos!  Just like Jesus! Seriously:

“My upbringing was faith-based, but we believed you should love all others as you want to be loved, because everyone should be treated equally. That’s helped me have an understanding of people on different journeys and in different walks of life. At the end of the day, we’re all the same, because we all want to be loved.”

Then Nick begins to open up about his feelings on gay getting hitched:

My thoughts on gay marriage are that everyone has the right to love and be loved, and that’s the position I take.

Did you also know, that Jonas he has a TON of gay friends! He’s a regular fag stag! (Do people still use that phrase? Never took, did it?)  Jonas should have some queer chums, he’s been working for Disney (GAY!) for years and is now dancing with the queens on Broadway in “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.” In fact, the gays are Nick’s FAVORITE fans:

“My brothers and I totally look forward to meeting them, because they really respond to our style, and it’s cool to see how our influence has impacted what they’re wearing. They also give really good gifts at our meet-and-greets — hats, scarves, and other things. They always have good taste.”

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Calm down slut-queen!  No need to worry about that headline. This story takes place in the Middle East…You can continue our pig parade here…But, lets get a little serious for a serious problem brewing in Saudi Arabia…

LGBTQ activists are concerned for the safety of a 30-year-old man arrested by the religious police in Saudi Arabia for using Facebook to date other men. The man, whose exact identity is not known, was arrested on 23 December, with full details of the incident are only now becoming clear after a detailed investigation by Gay Middle East. Experts warn he may face blackmail and/or corporal punishment.

He is being held in custody awaiting prosecution. The case has been reported to Amnesty International. Uber-political Facebook,  declined to comment.

The story goes, that a Saudi citizen reported an unnamed 30-year old man to the Religious police in Saudi Arabia, known as the Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice, which proceeded to apprehend the man who finally confessed that “the Facebook profile is his and that he had been using it for obscenity acts with other men”.

Saudi law is not strictly codified and its implementation, in either a lenient or severe manner, depends mostly on religious judges and scholars, as well as royal decrees (and thus subject to extreme variability). Past punishments for homosexuality range from imprisonment and/or flogging to the death. Conviction and severity of punishments depends on the social class, religion and citizenship of the accused, whereby non-western migrant workers receive usually harsher treatment than upper class Saudi citizens.

Sami Hamwi, Syria Editor of Gay Middle East, and former Saudi resident explains: “Native born Saudi citizens who are Suni or from the Bedouin tribes in the country are often let off, while punishment are severely executed against minorities like Shiites and or newly naturalised citizens. Punishments regarding homosexuality are also held against expatriates working in Saudi Arabia, especially those coming from Asian, African and Arab countries. Dammam is a largely Shiite area and if the 30 year old aforementioned man is a Shiite, he is likely to be trailed and sentenced harshly.”

A spokesperson for Amnesty International said :”Amnesty International is seeking more information on this case. If the man reported in the Sabq story has been arrested and charged with homosexuality, Amnesty International would consider him to be a prisoner of conscience and call for his immediate and unconditional release. Saudi Arabia has sentenced people convicted of homosexuality and ‘sodomy’ to a range of penalties including corporal punishment and even the death penalty. The criminalization of homosexuality encourages the dehumanization of lesbians, gay men, bisexual people and transgender people (LGBT) as their very identity is criminalized.”

“Amnesty International considers the use of ‘sodomy’ laws to imprison (usually) men for same-sex relations in private to be a grave violation of human rights, including the rights to privacy, to freedom from discrimination, to freedom of expression and association, which are protected in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.”

The Lesbian & Gay Foundation also voiced concerns: “It is extremely worrying to hear that that the Saudi police have entrapped this man when we know that Saudi-Arabia is one of the remaining countries in the world where homosexual acts are punishable at worst Death, but also by severe corporal punishment and imprisonment.”

Channing Tatum.

Channing Tatum, Channing Tatum, Channing Tatum.

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My God.

OMG

Sweet Lord, Channing Tatum, you are smoking hot.

And you are EVERYWHERE lately.

Your career is on fire my fine fine friend, and thank heavens for that!

Onboard for 2012, you’ve got  Haywire, The Vow and the  21 Jump Street remake! Yes, I said a remake of 21 Jump Street!  (I can hear that classic theme song by Holly Robinson in my head!)
And don’t forget the sequel-licious   G.I. Joe: Retaliation. Damn the first G.I. Joe sucked balls, but watch it with the sound off and just stare at Channing.  I give it two thumbs (and my erect cocklet) up!

In other Channing silver screen news – my favorite magazine ever – Entertainment Weekly got me all hot-n-bothered over: Magic Mike.  Magic Mike is an upcoming drama film directed by Steven Soderbergh. staring a whole lot of naked boy flesh! (Check out that pic…Growl!)

Synopsis: Veteran male stripper Magic Mike (Tatum) teaches a new male stripper (twinky Alex Pettyfer) how to shake it and rake it in. They get jiggling at  Xquisite (AMAZING name…), which is owned by the former male stripper Dallas (Matthew “Bongo” McConaughey).

ISN”T THAT THE FUCKING HOTTEST THING YOU HAVE EVER HEARD OF?

So in 2012, won’t you join me at the Cineplex?  I’ll spring for popcorn!

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I have to be honest, I haven’t checked the mail bag here at GayLive Network HQ since Thanksgiving. I thought the interns did it. Then I remembered, most of my interns have been on holiday vacation for the last few weeks. I wondered why my trashcan was overflowing!

So, without much further ado, I present, the latest, greatest, most amazing – installment of  TALK TO DICK!

Dear Dick,

I’m in a monogamous relationship with a great guy.  We were both very inexperienced when we first got together, but we have grown sexually and learned a lot and become very happy in the sack.

We are always looking for some new adventure.  New clean, safe, adventures.

So, I’ve never used sex toys before.  Never.  It seems like a new avenue.

I was talking with my boyfriend about it and we agreed that it would be a good idea, something fun to try. He’s never tried any toys either.

Thing is… I don’t know what to get and what types would be good. I want us to both be really pleasured, but also comfortable.

Any suggestions?

Sincerely,

Boys in Toyland

Dear Boys,

Holy Crap! Have you come to the right fellow. I have a whole wing of my mansion devoted to my toys!  Toys of all kinds, sizes, and pleasures….

But, since you are a couple of naive novices, I will start off ont he ground floor and work my way up…

• Butt plug / Dildo: I don’t need to tell you (hopefully) that the road to  multiple orgasms is right up their bum. That’s where the prostate is! To that end, check-out your friendly adult store’s selection of  butt plugs and dildos.   Check out the selection,  start small-ish (giggle) and see what you both like. Work your way up to a double=header if your both feeling kinda bottomy!
• Rings: Not just for engagements anymore! Cockrings are simply devine! Put’em around your cock and balls, and watch as you become as thick and hard as a petrified redwood.  Use it for ours of serious banging, or wear it out to get some eyes on your prize!
• Beads:  What’s the recipe for a face-melting orgasm?  First, apply a liberal amount of lube to the strand of  beads. Next, slowly insert the beads into your poop-chute. Then have sex. Let beads stay in ass until just before orgasm. Slowly pull from ass while coming. KA-POW!
• Vibator: Good, good GOOD vibrations!  Sweet God in heaven, do I love a vibrator. You can use it alone, you can use it with friends, you can use it whenever and however you want!  My favorite?  Jamming that thing up my parents ass while we suck one another off in a hot-as-hell 69.  Try it!

How does that all grab you? I hope by the balls and doesn’t let go till you are drained dry. (Sweet heavens is this the FILTHIEST post I have ever written!)

So happy shopping boys!  Please keep us updated on your adventuring!

love!

Dick

Are you a gym bunny?

Obsessed with working out?  Always dieting and starving yourself?

Gay men have been cast as gym bunnies for some time, probably with good reason.  We don’t have kids, got time for the gym, and certainly our society has body-worship / image issue.  A new British poll has now revealed a slightly more disturbing fact about the gay’s need for abs and biceps. A study commissioned by the Central YMCA, the Succeed Foundation and the University of the West of England’s (UWE) Centre for Appearance Research in Bristol found that 48 percent of gay male respondents would sacrifice a year or more of their lives in exchange for a perfect body.

Well duh! What’s one year?

Researchers also found that 10 percent of those men would agree to die more than 11 years earlier if they could have their ideal body right now, according to Pink News. 11?

I’ll give them 20! Who wants to live to liver spots?

Experts attributed the results to popular depictions of gay men in media. “Today gay men are under enormous pressure about their bodies, and we believe that a lack of body diversity in the media, including the gay press, and a relentless focus which values people based on appearance, may in part explain why gay men are particularly susceptible to this issue,” Rosi Prescott, CEO of Central YMCA, told Pink News. “This is of concern when we know that record numbers of men are taking steroids or having unnecessary cosmetic surgery to achieve what is often an unattainable or unrealistic body image ideal.”

A total of 384 men, a quarter of which identified as gay, were reportedly surveyed as part of the poll, with an average age of 40, according to the blokes at the  BBC. But overall, researchers say the increase in body hang-ups surged among both gay and straight men. The survey found a staggering 80 percent of men regularly discuss body shapes, often measuring them to those of top celebrities and models — and 59 percent of them admitted that doing so makes them feel worse about themselves.

Among the most popular phrases by men discussing how other men look: “beer belly,” “man boobs” (or “moobs”), and “chubby,” along with “six-pack” and “ripped.”

“Body talk is saying things which reinforce the traditional standard of male attractiveness, which is having a tall, lean, muscular body with clear skin and a full head of hair, and is for most people unattainable,” Dr. Phillippa Diedrichs of UWE also told The Guardian. “This research really demonstrates that body image is an issue for everyone, although in men, especially middle-aged men, it has been woefully under-reported, but has a negative impact on social relationships and on attitudes to diet, exercise and a healthy lifestyle.”

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On the weekend of January 27th, 28th and 29th, Philadelphia’s Sapphire Fund (SF) will present Sapphire Weekend, three days of events to raise money for the region’s LGBT charitable organizations. SF was established in 2002 to support the efforts of organizations contributing to the health and well-being of Philly’s queer community and those who support them.  They used to throw a circuit party, the amazing Blue Ball, which gracefully retired last year.
“Blue Ball Weekend was the fundraising cornerstone of Sapphire Fund for 20 years, with last year being its final year” says board President Domenic Gallelli. “We felt that this was the perfect time to launch something fresh and innovative, something that would be appealing to a broader subset of the LGBT community. As our stakeholders have grown and evolved, we as a responsible organization are compelled to oblige.”

Sapphire Weekend will feature three signature events all built around the Ball on Saturday, January 28th in the magnificent Franklin Monument at the Franklin Institute.
But, lets not get too far ahead of ourselves…First, lets talk about Friday.  Kicking the weekend off, the Winter Wonderland Ball is presented by Stimulus and takes place at Voyeur Nightclub. This little glam-boree promises a red carpet, live entertainment and DJs, and is a semi-formal event. (CLASSY, bithes! Classy!) Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the door.

On Saturday, Sapphire Ball  will run from 10pm to 1am on January 28th, and will feature a fabulous ten-piece band in one of the most spectacular rooms in Philadelphia. The Sapphire Ball Reception will precede the event from 8-10PM.  The weekend will also feature Sapphires Sunday Brunch, taking place at the Pyramid Club, with stunning panoramic views of the city. I had a boozy, boozy, brunchy time at this event last year – LOVED IT!

VIP tickets are priced at $150 and include both events and open bar. Tickets for Sapphire Ball only are priced at $60 with a cash bar. Special pricing is available for pairs – two tickets for $100! That makes this event perfect for you cougar-couples on the prowl! Growl!  Really feeling ritzy, then those who wish to purchase VIP tickets for both the Ball and Brunch can – at a cost of $185.

What happens to this money? Do they just buy a truck full of poppers and go to town?  Use it all up on GayLive Network?  No!  The all-volunteer board of the Sapphire Fund chooses a set of beneficiaries each year, to which funds are distributed late in the year. Sapphire Weekend will serve as the organization’s signature event and their largest fundraising effort of the year.  So come out and support if you are in the Philly area!

For 2012, Sapphire Fund has chosen two organizations as beneficiaries. The National Adoption Center’s goal is to place children in happy and healthy homes, and the Center is placing heavy focus on helping LGBT individuals and couples with adoption services. Child Advocates provides social and legal services to abused and neglected children in the Philadelphia region. They are also launching a LGBT-specific initiative, considering that so many children are treated poorly at home as a result of their sexual orientation.

“We have an amazing, dedicated group of people who are enthusiastic and committed to the success of this new event as well as to the continued mission of Sapphire Fund,” said Gallelli.

The landmark West Village gay bar and restaurant Julius‘, which bills itself as the oldest gay bar in the city  (drinks were first slung in 186

4), was closed after health inspectors found roaches and evidence of mice there, according to Department of Health records. Yikes! Not the kind of furry little friends I want to find when I head out to the pubs!

Julius’, which serves hamburgers and sandwiches, racked up 52 violation points for health code infractions! The list includes: keeping cold foods at insufficiently low temperatures, improperly sanitizing surfaces that come in contact with food, and improperly using pesticides!  Makes you hungry, doesn’t it?

Owner Helen Buford said Wednesday morning that she expected Julius’ to be re-inspected Wednesday and able to reopen after the follow-up visit.  Get cracking Helen, you don’t want to miss the thirsty Thursday crowd!

This ain’t the first time that this joint has had trouble.. Inspectors found fewer problems during inspections earlier in 2011. In March, inspectors gave 21 violation points for evidence of  vermin. In June, Julius’ received 15 points for evidence of mice and improper sanitation of surfaces that come in contact with food.

Yelp peeps described the joint’s food as “dirty” and “greasy.”  I am fine with greasy – but dirty? Dirty? No thanks!

Julius’  was not always a health code mess, and it was not always gay either…The bar actually only started to attract the queers in the ’50s.  In 1966 sparked a city Human Rights Commission investigation of discrimination against homosexuals in bars, according to the establishment’s website.